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Blackened Fish
Transcript (Scene cuts to Fred and Sadie waking up) Baby Rechid starts crying. Sadie: "Fred could you go check on the baby?" Fred walks into the bathroom. Sadie (sighs): "I'll take care of it." Sadie walks down the hall and into the baby's room. (Scene cuts to Fred sitting on the toilet) Fred: "AAAHHH. Thank Neptune that one finally came out. Well I better get down stairs and eat. Sadie (from downstair): "Fred! What did you do with the toaster?! It's not here!" Fred notices a newspaper lying next to him. Fred: "Or I could stay in here for a little longer." Fred picks up the newspaper and starts reading. French Narrator: "Thirty minutes later." Sadie starts pounding on the bathroom door. Sadie: "Fred! What's taking so long? You've been in there for thirty minutes!" Fred sighs and flushes the toilet. Fred gets up to grab some toilet paper but his legs are asleep. Fred: "Oh no! My legs are asleep!" Fred falls and hits his head on the toilet paper roll before landing on the floor. Fred gets up and opens the door. Sadie: "Holy fishpaste! You have a black eye Fred! Here let me bandage that up for you." Sadie grabs a bunch of bandages and starts putting them on Fred's eye. Sadie: "There, now it's all better! How'd you get that black eye anyway?" Fred: "My legs fell asleep while I was on the toilet so when I got up I fell and hit my eye on the toilet paper roll." Sadie starts laughing uncontrollably. Sadie: "Your legs fell asleep from being on the toilet for so long? I'm sorry Fred, I can't stop laughing!" Sadie falls onto the floor from laughing so hard. Fred walks out of the room. Fred: "I can't tell anyone else about this." (Scene cuts to imaginary vision) Pilar: "Ha Ha Ha Ha! You got a black eye from siting on the toilet for too long? You're such an idiot, Fred! Nat: "Yeah! Ha Ha Ha Ha!" (Vison ends) Fred: "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Fred: "Keep it cool Fred. You'll be okay, you just have to hide your eye for the whole day and it'll be gone tomorrow." Monroe walks into the room. Monroe Timmy: "Dad, why does your eye have a blanket on it? Fred: "I gave myself a black eye." Monroe: "How?" Fred: "Umm...I...was having a fight with...Harold, yeah!" Monroe: "Oh okay!" Fred: "Phew! That was a close one!" Fred walks outside and sees Nat and Shubie pushing Baby Billy in a stroller past his house. Shubie: "Hi Fred!" Fred: "Hey Shubie." Shubie: "What happened to your eye?" Fred: "Oh I just got into a fight with Harold." Harold walks over to them. Harold: "Hey Fred!" Fred gulps. Shubie: "Why did you get into a fight with Fred, Harold?" Harold: "What?! I never got into a fight with you!" Nat: "Wait so you're lying? What happened to your eye then?" Fred: "Uh... uh... I'm a professional boxer!" Nat, Shubie and Harold: "What?!" Nat: "You're a professional boxer?" Fred: "Yeah I actually just fought my first match last night, that's how I got this black eye." Harold: "Really? I'm a huge fan of boxing!" Harold pulls out a boxing magazine. Harold: "Who did you fight against?" Fred looks through the magazine. Fred: "Uh... uh... it was The Anchovy!" Harold: "The Anchovy?! He's one of the best! Did he destroy you?" Fred: "What? No he didn't destroy me! I was about to knock him out actually but he cheated and spit in my eye so I couldn't see. Then he gave me this black eye and the referee had to stop the fight since I couldn't see anymore. If I ever fight the Anchovy again I'll beat the barnacles out of him!" Lenny walks by and over hears them. Lenny: "You fought against The Anchovy?! That's Mabel's cousin! I can't wait to tell her about this!" Fred gulps. (Scene cuts to Fred eating breakfast the next day) The door bell rings and Fred opens it. Fred: "Hello?" The Anchovy grabs him by the neck and picks him up. The Anchovy: "So you're the punk that lied to everyone in town and said that I cheated in a fight against you or else you would've beaten the barnacles out of me?! Well let's put that lie to the test. Meet me behind the Barg 'N Mart tomorrow at 5 and we'll settle this like real men. Don't chicken out and make me come get you." The Anchovy drops Fred and slams the door. Fred gets up and sees purple stars. He shakes it off. Fred: "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Why am I so STUPID!?!" Fred slaps himself in the face. Fred looks at a box of inflatable Anchor Arms lying on the floor. Fred: "Hmm... Maybe I can try doing what that sponge did." Fred puts on the inflatable arms and blows into them. Fred: "Okay here goes nothing." Fred opens up the door and walks outside. Sally walks by. Fred: "Hi Sally." Sally’s eyes get huge and turn into hearts. Sally: "So dreamy!" Sally walks away. Abigai-Marge walks towards Fred. Abigail: "That’s it! I’m finally telling Nat that he belongs with me and not the sea pig he’s with now! Then Nat will finally realize how much he needs me and we’ll live happily ever after in a mansion with 2.5 kids! Oh it makes me so mad that he’s with Shubie instead! I’m gonna... I’m gonna..." Fred walks past her. Abigail: "Great Neptune he’s handsome!" Abigail faints and falls onto the ground in front of Nat’s house. (Scene cuts to Nancy walking her worm) Nancy: "Come on you stupid worm, stop walking so slow! I have to go to work soon!" Fred walks past her. Fred: "Hey Nancy. How’s it going?" Nancy: "Take me back!" Nancy faints and falls onto the ground next to Fred. Perch Perkins walks over to Fred. Perch Perkins: "Hello this is Perch Perkins. Would you mind doing an interview before you’re big fight against the Anchovy tomorrow?" Fred: "Uh... okay I guess I can." Perch Perkins: "Holy fishpaste! Those are the biggest arms I’ve ever seen! The Anchovy’s gonna have a really hard time trying to beat you! Are you going to get revenge on him for supposedly cheating against you the last time you fought each other?" Fred: "Uh well you never know I mean the Anchovy is a pretty good fighter..." Nancy jumps up from the ground. Nancy: "Fred is going to destroy the Anchovy tomorrow! The Anchovy has no chance! He’s nothing but a dirty cheater! Fred is so much bigger and stronger than he is." Fred gulps. Perch Perkins: "Wow that's quite a response and you are?" Fred: "Oh this is my e..." Nancy: "Wife! I’m his wife, Nancy Suzy Rechid! Yep that’s me and I just know that my husband will kick the Anchovy‘s butt tomorrow! He’s gonna be unrecognizable after Fred’s done with him!" Fred gulps. Perch Perkins: "Wow! A lot of confidence is coming from the Rechids right now! I can’t wait for this fight tomorrow! It looks like the Anchovy will have a really difficult time trying to take this local hero down because nothing is stopping Fred Rechid from winning. This is Perch Perkins reporting live from Bikini Bottom." Perch Perkins walks away. Nancy: "Good luck Fred I know you’re going to do great tomorrow. Call me after you kick his butt." Nancy kisses Fred on the cheek and walks away. Fred: "What the barnacles was that about? Great, Nancy couldn’t keep her big mouth shut and now everyone who watches the news is going to expect me to destroy the Anchovy tomorrow. This couldn’t get any worse." French Narrator: "The next day." (Scene cuts to the Barg ‘N Mart) Perch Perkins: "And we’re live behind the Barg ‘N Mart for the fight that everyone‘s been waiting to see between the Anchovy and Fred Rechid! The Anchovy comes into this fight with 34 wins and 21 knockouts while Fred Rechid comes into this fight with 0 wins and 0 knockouts. That being said, while the Anchovy is the heavy favorite, more people have chosen Fred Rechid to win this fight after the interview he and his wife, Nancy Rechid, had on live TV yesterday. It seems as though this hometown hero is determined to get revenge on the Anchovy for cheating the last time these two fought and giving him the nasty black eye he still has today." The Anchovy walks over to Fred. The Anchovy: "Hometown hero? Well this hero isn’t going to have a happy ending in the hospital tonight after I’m through with you. I heard about what you said in that interview yesterday about how I’m nothing but a dirty cheater. You really think that you’re gonna destroy me in this fight pipsqueak? I‘ll admit your arms have gotten a lot bigger since the other day but still the only one who’s getting destroyed is you!" The Anchovy walks away from Fred and back to his corner of the ring. Debbie walks on the stage into the ring. Debbie: "Attention ladies and gentlefish. Thank you all for coming to the Barg ‘N Mart today, the store that serves all your needs. The fight between the Anchovy and Fred Rechid is about to begin. Does anyone know what time it is?" Shubie looks at her watch. Shubie: "It’s 5:02." Debbie: "Well that means I’m on break now so I’m outta here." Debbie walks out of the ring and off stage. A bell rings, signaling the beginning of the fight. The Anchovy walks towards Fred and cracks his knuckles. The Anchovy laughs menacingly. Fred: "Oh what am I going to do? There’s no way I can defeat him he’s gonna kill me." Crowd: "Let’s go Fred!" Fred looks at the crowd and sees everyone cheering his name. Fred: "That’s it! If I believe really hard in myself I can accomplish anything! I won’t let all my friends down!" Fred punches the Anchovy in the chest. Fred’s Anchor Arm deflates on impact. The Anchovy laughs and grabs Fred. The Anchovy begins to pummel Fred while Fred screams. Fred: "My leg!" Evelyn covers Billy’s eyes. Martha hugs Tom. Martha: "Honey, I‘m scared." The bell rings signaling the end of the first round. Fred: "Stop the fight!" Fred weakly crawls over to ropes and climbs up to the top one. Fred: "I‘m not a professional boxer! I never fought against the Anchovy before and he didn’t give me both of my black eyes, he only gave me the one from the fight today. The truth is, I got the first black eye because I had been sitting on the toilet for too long and when I tried getting up my legs were asleep so I fell down and hit my eye on the toilet paper roll. That’s the truth and I’m sorry for lying to you all." The crowd starts laughing at Fred. The Anchovy: "Enough! Stop making fun of this man! We all have done things that we’re not proud of! I still have to sleep with a night light on because I’m afraid of the dark!" Shubie: "Sometimes when I go to sleep, I forget to take off my watch and it gives me a bad tan line the next day!" Patty: "And I’m so busy with work that I haven’t found a husband!" Martha: "And I have a weight problem!" Tom: "And I have a really bad sense of fashion!" Evelyn: "And I have really big fins!" Harold: "And I’m a horrible scientist!" Nancy: "And my hair is going gray even though I’m a middle age woman!" Frank: "And I work as a taxi driver!" Lenny: "And I‘m too skinny!" Mabel: "And I’m horrible with children!" The Anchovy: "See, we all have our flaws and regretable decisions so we shouldn’t make fun of others for theirs. We should act more understandingly towards each other when their embarrassed or uncomfortable and tell them that it’s okay that not everything about them is perfect. We’re only fish and part of being a fish is making mistakes." Fred: "Thanks Mr. The Anchovy, you really saved me today." The Anchovy: "Don’t mention it Fred, just don’t ever claim that you got hurt because I cheated in a fight against you again. You wanna get some ice cream?" Fred: "Thanks but I don’t think my body is able to digest food anymore. I need to go to a hospital." Fred passes out. (Scene ends) Category:Episodes Category:Episode Transcripts Category:Transcripts Category:Nat Peterson Adventures! Category:Shouty the Penguin Category:2018 Category:2018 Episodes